27 Dresses - Movie/DVD Review

Apparently I really love romantic comedies; why else would I have reviewed so many of the bloody things on this site so far?  But my problem goes far further than just a secret rom-com fetish; oh no, dear readers, it is far worse:

I’m apparently addicted to INCREDIBLY CRAP romantic comedies; at least, that’s the only reason I can think of that led to me watching Katherine Heigl (of Grey’s Anatomy fame) in 27 Dresses, a movie that somehow managed to make me cry tears of blood even before I’d managed to claw out my own eyes.

The concept of the movie is your typical soppy chick flick crap (not that there’s anything wrong with that…) - Jane (Heigl) is the perpetual bridesmaid, always there to support her friends but never finding true love herself.  She is (of course) in love with her boss, who doesn’t realise she even exists, and drifts through life generally pissing and moaning about the fact she hasn’t managed to lure some poor bastard down the aisle.

Finally, after much will-she-or-won’t-she’s, she’s just about to make her move on her boss, announcing her love when…her lying, conniving sister swoops in! Oh no!  Luckily there’s the hunky journalist who manipulates and betray hers at first, but of course winds up falling in love with her, redeeming himself in the process.  Uggh.

The whole movie is basically just one gigantic, cliché-ridden turd-fest, with very little in the way of redeeming qualities beyond finally ending.  Heigl tries hard as the lead, and is actually very convincing in the role of nice-girl-being-taken-advantage-of; mind you, she’s had some practice, seeing as how this role is pretty much identical to the one that made her famous on Grey’s Anatomy.  Izzy…I mean, Katherine is the highlight of an otherwise very dull piece, although her performance in Knocked Up was superior (as was the entire movie); all the others actors, from the love interests to the inevitable sarcastic-yet-lovable best friend, seem to be just phoning their performance’s in.

Really, the whole concept of the movie is flawed in its almost juvenile predictability.  Most romantic comedies these days usually try to at least throw in a twist or some such in an attempt to capture the ever-wavering attention of today’s jaded viewers; instead, the creators of 27 Dresses apparently felt the need to formulate a plot that could be guessed in its entirety simply by looking at the promotional poster, and five minutes in it becomes painfully obvious that there are no surprises coming; even better, this completely predictable and linear journey into ‘romance’ lacks any of the laughs need to at least fulfil the ‘comedy’ part.

If you’re a female that loves sappy, happy ending love stories, or you’re a bloke trying to score points with your partner, or simply a sucker for torturously unfunny “comedies” that make you want to cut your wrists with the battery cover off the remote control, then I can wholeheartedly recommend 27 Dresses.  If you, unlike my sucker-for-punishment self, actually like to watch movies that you might actually enjoy, then I suggest that you snap the DVD before your better half even manages to put it in the drive; yes, I still recommend this even if it involves lacerations, a rental fine, or an altercation with your significant other.

Trust me; you’ll thank me for it regardless.

     

I rate 27 Dresses: 1/10 (Poor concept, poor script, poor acting, poor humour, decent Katherine Heigl.)

   

- Tim Sweeney